she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
