I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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