just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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