remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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