Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
