an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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