Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize