so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
