Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize