No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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