Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The best revenge is premature balding
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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