How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize