Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
