Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
