Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
