Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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