so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize