I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
