Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
