epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
