It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize