she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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