Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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