Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
