Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
