Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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