All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
its liver damage thursday
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