R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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