yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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