How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
