so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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