True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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