From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
