he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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