you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
