Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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