I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i drank out of a bidet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
