Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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