My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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