Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
