I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
