Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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