hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize