I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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