I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
