The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
