i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.