awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave