I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
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Tornado booty call.. dedication
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.