Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck