Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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