Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Where is the hickey?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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