I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
