See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
