During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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