You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
