woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
