She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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