Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
